She Lay There, Her Heart Spilling its Contents…


woman awakensNot a typical type of post for me. It came to me this morning while reflecting about this last year, the years preceding and where I am now. Perhaps it speaks to you. XOXO Love Jackie

She lay there, her heart spilling its contents on the shower floor. The pain too much to bare, gut wrenching, her dream stolen from her. She is broken, empty and numb.

She spent her life running. Denying.
Much to her own detriment

Until the day came, that all that was, could no longer be denied

No longer a soft, subtle whisper; the polite and cordial invitation to wake up had been revoked.  Rather, it came loud, like booming thunder and with such fury it was impossible to ignore. She was forced to listen.

Her comfort and security stripped. She had no choice but to face it and in doing so found herself in the eye of a storm she spent her entire life trying to avoid.

Such irony.

That storm and the chaos that followed, was a summons for her to step into herself; her light, her power; her worth

She had asked and so she received.

She unearthed parts of herself she didn’t know existed, didn’t want to know, parts that were hidden in an abyss of fear, codependence and neediness.

Her denial was indeed self-preservation, it served to keep her family united. Whole.

A type of pseudo comfort and happiness tangled in a web of self-deceit.

This frightened her, but she walked on. Weary, some days not knowing if she was coming or going. Yet she forged ahead, an inner knowing guiding her towards…something.

Despite her fears and tears, she had to escape the madness and find herself.

She trudged through mud so thick and deep, she felt it trying to swallow her, suffocate her

Yet, she had to trust. There was nothing left to do.

She had to keep moving, or succumb and be swallowed.

She lost her footing and stumbled, her fears threatening to drown her. She began to sink. Frightened and paralyzed, the next step wouldn’t come.

That’s when he came to her, firmly grasping her hand, carefully pulling her to safety. Infusing her with strength. Renewing her faith in the power of something greater. Guiding her, shaping her into who she was always meant to be.

Allowing her to trust. Bringing her renewed strength.

She began to taste the sweetness of freedom and peace. She learned to laugh again. Gratitude filled her heart.

She is more than a pretty face, a possession. She is valued. She no longer needs to pay the price of compromising herself.

The pain she felt was an important part of her journey and she had to embrace it, in its entirety, to reawaken.  It was through the sadness, hurt and betrayal that she found the courage to take a different road.

No longer running, denying.

She stands whole; ready to live full congruence with her own spirit.

Jacqueline Can

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