Are You Closing Yourself Off to Possibility?

PossibilityHere’s a clue…take a good, honest look at anything you may have resistance towards-because let me tell you…in is in this space that possibility is born.

Life will give you everything you need to make the jump to the next level. The stepping stones reveal themselves at the perfect moment, it’s really just up to us if we seize those opportunities and be courageous enough to take that step.

Six months ago even, seizing these moments and acting upon them wouldn’t have happened. I was too guarded and too full of fear. Too uncomfortable with the world outside of what was familiar to me.  In many ways I had closed myself off  to “possibility”. I settled and convinced myself that I’d better just be grateful and accept the way things were. I mean, I had a good life, so what more could I possibly want?

What I didn’t realize was that I had been shrinking myself and playing small. I lived in the shadows as I championed the successes and growth of my husband and children. This served me well for many years and it gave me what I wanted; I was able to dedicate myself to my children’s needs fully, enjoyed the comforts and freedom to stay at home while my husband was the bread winner and provided security for our family. That security came with a clause, at least that is what my perception was, and I abided by it, so much so that I retreated even more so into a pale comparison of my former self.

As my children grew older and didn’t “need” me as they once did I became increasingly restless. My husband was ambitious and pursued his dreams and desires (some of which created some major emotional turmoil on my end ). Maybe you get where I’m going with this… While I was hiding and repressing parts of myself, he was out in the world, “playing big” and definitely “expressing” himself. And as things go…shit eventually hit the fan (don’t worry there’s always an upside).

I had, in my hiding, learned to live according to what I thought were the expectations of my husband and society and part of how that manifested was to close myself off to members of the opposite sex.  In my youth I enjoyed the friendships of both males and females, but by marrying a possessive and jealous man (which to me translated to “special love” at the time) it become abundantly clear that those friendships were threatening to our union. So I ditched them (my guy friends) and never looked back. It became so ingrained in me that I actually developed what I now think of as some sort of twisted fear of the opposite sex. Add in the stories my husband told me about “how men really think”  I had come to believe that, put bluntly, that all men were pigs – except for mine. A somewhat imbalanced perception you might say.

So no doubt that I avoided them like the plague (HA HA). To further protect myself from what could be an unwelcome advance and create a “situation” I even went as far as cutting off all of my hair and put on a few extra pounds. I was in my twenties and behaving like I was an old maid.  At the time I didn’t have the awareness of what my motives were, but now as I examine my life I’m starting to see how some of my subconscious fears manifested themselves. It screamed self protection.

So why am I telling you all of this and what does it have to do with anything at all?

There is some grand irony to this all. It’s quite hilarious actually. I’ve being going through my life with a fine toothed comb lately, working on expanding and broadening my horizons. Everyday, I push myself  to do something that I normally wouldn’t (especially where I have fear or resistance) – stretching my limits you could say. For me, this the space in which opportunity arises.

Things stopped being “comfortable” in my world a while ago and possibility has come from those challenges. So here I am, finding myself making a “go” of  pursuing what I feel crazy inspired to do.

So guess what the universe serves up to me? Exactly what I need to more forward and move in to a space of wholeness, balance and get over the fear I have had about the opposite sex. Seems I have been rather stunted in that area.

My experience has been that life really does bring us opportunity at every corner, but we need to be open and have a willingness to seize those opportunities.

As I mentioned, interacting like a normal human being around guys was a no go for me. I steered clear. Ironically, I’ve been receiving a great deal of support in making my vision a reality from people that just happen to be men (who would have thought?) and I find myself just allowing myself to be normal  me.

What I’m really trying to communicate here is that, somewhere in our lives we create a belief about something, we fail to ask ourselves the bigger question. What is the truth?  What is it really? Is this my truth, or someone else’s? Often times those beliefs close us up to what greater possibility in our lives could look like.  Those beliefs are different for everybody, and can spread into many life areas; health, wealth, career, relationships…if you start looking at what you are resisting, you’ll find something valuable.  There is great insight to be gained in bringing awareness to whatever it is in your life that you have a strong aversion to, because in most cases you’ll really learn something about yourself – you’ll find that something in that belief that is holding you back and keeping you stuck.

A friend reminded me of this quote today, I think it’s the perfect finishing touch for this post;

“Things we are resisting get in the way, once we embrace them they become on the way…” -Dr John Demartini

 

 

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